Henley-onThames, yesterday
My late adoption of the Xbox means I missed most of the classics the first time round and can now grab them up for mere pennies. I’d heard Saints Row was “bitchin’, yo” and four quid is too good to pass up, right? Fo’ shizzle, homie.
Yes, that-there street lingo was employed to indicate that Saints Row is based around the life of a gangsta. All your middle-class, suburban fantasies will be fulfilled. But first, pimp your avatar: if you’re going for authenticity, I’d suggest rocking purple corn-rows, a green goatie and an oversized t-shirt. Then it’s time to enter Stillwater, a a law-suit avoiding amalgamation of various west-coast cities. Before you can say “check my sweet threads, dawg”, you’ll find yourself initiated into the Third Street Saints. Although the Saints are a portrayed as a somewhat “ethical” gang, you’ll be a-whorin’, stealin’, scammin’ and murderin’ with the worst of them. Running round the open world and performing such tasks earns you cash and respect; Money allows you to buy a little summin’, summin’ – guns, clothes, cars, etc. – while bolstering your nefarious CV unlocks the main storyline.
There’s surprising variety to be found in the main campaign. Obviously the core gameplay is based around wasting fools, but that can come in the form of either pedestrian- or vehicular-based slaughter, and there’s also racing, tagging and kidnapping elements to be enjoyed. Fun for all the family, I’m sure you’ll agree. My biggest complaint about Saints Row, however, is that most of the main missions begin with a lengthy drive across town to get to the action. Now, in principle, this gives you a real sense of scale for the city and the ‘hoods you’ve yet to bring under your control. But, if you’re less of a “playa” and more of a “spanner-fingered baboon”, there are a few missions you’ll be retrying a number of times. The lack of save points means that initial commute can become a real grind. But stick with it.
Book ending each of the main missions are a series of cut scenes. These are superbly entertaining, thanks to some great voice acting. Similarly, jump in a car and you’re treated to local radio: Interspersed between the hippin’ and the hoppin’ are some hilarious adverts. The auto parts dealer – Rim Jobs – is a personal favourite. It’s these little touches which breathe life in to the game world and elevate Saints Row above a run-of-the-mill GTA clones.
My advice? You see Saints Row pimpin’ its wares for less than a Hamilton and you’d be a fool not to check it out.
